“I’m Not a Smart Man” Forest Gump

If you’re a Baby-Boomer, you know “Sorry about that Chief” was Maxwell Smart’s pat answer to bungled spy plot. As I look at his trademark “Shoe phone”, I wonder if this was the precursor to today’s “Smart” Phone, since that was his name.  I have noticed that we are obsessed with Smart gadgets.  I’m confused,  are we smart for Using Smart products, or do we become  smarter for using Smart products, or  are the Smart products just smarter than us?  I’m going with another answer, Marketing people are just plain smarter and have , well,  Out-Smarted us.

So for whatever reason we are drawn to Smart Stuff, here is a list of things that will push you into the ranks of Einstein.  Of course we have “The Smart Car”, which I think is pretty dumb to want to coexist on the freeway in a car smaller than a Queen size bed riding in the vicinity of  a semi.  But It’s called the Smart Car, so therefor it is Smart to own one, Smart to drive one, Smart to be seen in one and not too Smart to get in a wreck with one.

Did you know you can exercise with Smart Abs,  Eat a Smart Balance Diet, Dress in Smart Casual apparel,  spend Smart Cash with a payroll Card, and put your Smart Phone in a Smart Case after you play Smart Games, on your Smart TV.  If you can’t cook you can rely on Smart Kitchen, or eat Smart for life Cookies,  while you’re  drinking  Smart Juice, living in your Smart House , until you want to relocate and will need the services of Smart Home Realty. If you’re single you may want to try Smart Date and will that guarantee the night ends in your Smart Bed? But if that fails you can go to  the Smart Zone Communications. Doctors can  wear Smart Scrubs , Teachers can get help at the  Smart Exchange, toddlers can play with Smart Kid Toys, and Computer guys can get help at Smart Tech,  or Smart Bee Software. We even have  Smart wool, producing “high performance” clothing and Smart Yarn, claiming it returns to it’s original shape.  That would be a sheep?  A Smart Zip would be used to preserve the  food in the back of the fridge you never eat. I guess the Smart Umbrella stays out of the rain and Smart Shoes can be bought  at Foot Smart. K-mart pushes Smart Sense Products, Smart X-Press handles  Office Supplies, and Kohler has  a Smart Toilet, with lighting , music and a “touch screen”, (I don’t want to know any more).  My favorite is   from a great modern day hero, Sheriff Joe Arpiao in Arizona. He is the innovator of the Smart Tent for visitors in his Tent City Prison.   S.M.A.RT. has an acronym  Shocking,   Mainstream,   Adolescents, into   Resisting, Temptation.

With a nation obsessed with “Smart Products”, why is there no Smart Politicians? Some of the decisions that were made in reducing our debt  and spending were anything but SMART. We just need to “graduate” this group in Congress and bring in some folks  that won’t drink the Kool-Aid, but gulp down gallons of  Smart Water.

The Series was called “Get Smart”, staring Don Adams.  The opposing force was called:

K.A.O.S. Something that Washington D.C is full of right now.

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